


Christmas Eve Will Find Me

by lightningmcqueendean



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is missing his jack, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas fic, Fluff and Angst, John Sings, M/M, but dont worry! its, hes important, john is a manager...somewhere, sad christmas songs, this apparently made some folks crie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:08:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8831662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningmcqueendean/pseuds/lightningmcqueendean
Summary: Alexander had been strong, damn it. He hadn’t broken when John left a week ago to Columbus, he hadn’t teared up when he had to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer by himself. Hell, he’d kept it together while making Christmas cookies solo.But obviously he was weaker than he thought.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i listened to Leslie Odom Jr.'s "I'll Be Home For Christmas" on repeat while writing this and may have cried in the process a few times  
> 1\. you may crie but it ends happy i promise  
> 2\. Alex calling John "Jack" gives me life  
> 3\. John calling Alex "Baby Girl" gives me even more life (and you can probably tell by how much I put baby girl in this fic)
> 
> Enjoy

The scratching of his pen stopped abruptly as he looked up, eyes drooping tiredly. The clock ticked obnoxiously above the television, the black second hand seeming to mock him. 10:56.

The couch seemed to have conformed to his body, sucking him into a dark blue abyss with every passing minute. His pen was leaving an indent in his fingers, making him wince as he put it down on the coffee table. He rolled his wrist around, looking down at his paper and harrumphing as the words melded together into an inky mess. He rubbed his eyes as he put the paper on the coffee table, figuring he could be bothered with it some other time.

He sat back and stared at the wall in front of him, pulled the blanket over his shoulders more snug around him as he looked over at the window, snow falling lightly. He could almost hear them tap against the glass as they stuck to it.

It was too quiet. There should be laughing, silly singing, milk bubbling on the stove for hot chocolate, The Polar Express blaring on the television.  
There was only the sound of the clock ticking away every minute that he was alone. 11:03.

He wasn’t sulking, of course not. He understood the means of being a manager. You had to make deals, throw out pitches, travel away from home on holidays. He got it, he knew what the cost was.

He couldn’t help but listen to the niggling voice in the back of his mind that hissed bitterly, ’He couldn’t even get this day off?’ or, ’This must not be important enough for him, huh?’

Alexander stood, pressing his fingers to his temples and trying to drown at that damn clock. 11:12. It seemed to thunk and clunk louder and louder until he groaned and turned to grab his phone from the couch cushion, hoping to find some music or a stupid video to play. He stopped short when he saw their Christmas tree twinkling merrily in the corner, the large white snowflake on top glittering without a care in the world.  
Each ornament on its green branch had a little tale behind it, a backstory that held love-drunk memories. There was the little snowman that John had accidentally shoplifted from JCPenny, the bell that Angelica had mistakenly gifted to them instead of Eliza, the heart with the picture of two of them-  
And underneath the tree sat multiple presents, reflecting the lights from the tree. Alexander slunk over and sunk to the ground, his knees taking the impact. He picked up a box with red wrapping and looked at the tag.

 

TO JOHN:  
Don’t open this one until Christmas! That’s the whole point of a Christmas present!  
LOVE, YOUR DEAREST ALEX <3

 

He thumbed at the tag and sighed, nestling it back with the others and standing once again, stepping away before he lost his composure. 11:24.

He jumped when Feliz Navidad started blasting from his phone and rushed over, falling onto the couch and molding back into his divot. He snatched up his phone. 

John was calling

Alexander’s hand shook as he swiped to answer the call.

The screen loaded for a moment before John’s freckled, frazzled face appeared. He was still in his suit, hair still styled. He had probably just gotten back to his hotel room. “Hey, baby girl!”

“Hey, Jack,” Alexander said, giving a small smile and trying not to sniff. John didn’t need to see how pathetic he was acting. It’s not like he’d been gone forever.

“What’re you up to?” John asked, pulling away from the screen and sitting up on his bed. Alexander wanted him to come close to the camera again, thinking maybe, just maybe, if he came close enough, Alexander would be able to pull him through. Pull him back home.

“Writing that essay for G-Wash, of course.” John snorted and Alexander smirked, pulling the blanket back around his shoulders. Now that he could see how John wasn’t there with him it was as if the cold decided to truly delve deep into his bones, making him tired. He didn’t want to sleep, he wanted to talk to his Jack.

“You look exhausted,” John observed, “maybe you should go to bed? I shouldn’t have called so late.”

Alexander instantly shook his head, stuttering. “No, John, Jack, no. I’m fine. I’m-I just…”

John looked at him with melancholy. Alexander hated seeing that look on John’s face.

“I miss you too, baby.”

Alexander had been strong, damn it. He hadn’t broken when John left a week ago to Columbus, he hadn’t teared up when he had to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer by himself. Hell, he’d kept it together while making Christmas cookies solo.

But obviously he was weaker than he thought.

Tears streamed down his face and his nose felt like it was going to run. He was cold, alone, and tired on Christmas Eve, of all nights. 11:32. He wanted his dear Laurens home.

“Oh, Alex, I’m so sorry,” John conceded, looking sadly back at Alexander in their apartment multiple states away.

“I wish you were here, Jack,” Alexander sobbed, wiping his face on his sweater sleeve. John’s sweater sleeve. There were presents John wouldn’t open on their designated day under the tree, cookies John wouldn’t eat, people John wouldn’t say Merry Christmas to in person, mistletoe that John won’t be kissed under. He wouldn’t be home for Christmas.

11:39.

“I wish I was there too, honey, I really, truly do. I miss you so much. I hate what this damn job has me doing.”

Alexander felt so much resentment towards John’s stupid job. Who cared about the good money it brought in? Who cared about the luxuries they got to have because of it? In that moment in time, there was no greater luxury to Alexander than sitting in his underwear and one of John’s sweatshirts and John dressed likewise as they cuddled and drank eggnog and watched Hallmark movies until four in the morning.

John looked devastated, his own eyes red. From fatigue or from holding back tears, Alexander couldn’t tell. He remembered that John was probably having just as rough of a time as he was and there he was, making John feel guilty. How selfish of him.

“Your presents are going to be under the tree when you get home, okay? I’ll keep them right where they are for when you get back,” Alexander tried, clearing his throat. Tears were still pouring down his face but he tried to ignore them.

“Baby girl-”

11:45

“It’s snowing, too. You wanted a white Christmas this year, right? Well, it’s a little blizzard outside-”

“Alex-”

“And-And I made those cookies that you like yesterday. I knew you were really busy and couldn’t text me but they’re in the freezer so they’ll be cold when you get here, just how you like them-”

“Alexander!”

Alexander stopped, looking back down at his phone. He didn’t remember looking up at the clock, away from his beloved John. Why would he want to look away? It wasn’t as if it numbed the pain.

“Alex, sweetie…I love you, too. I’ve missed you everyday this past week and I’d love to keep talking to you, but you need to go to bed.”

For once, Alexander agreed. Sleeping meant that time went faster. Time going faster meant the sooner he’d see John again.

He dragged his blanket with him to their bedroom, not even bothering to turn off any lights. He choked back another hiccuping sob when he felt the room’s coldness, its bareness. There was no warm body to be his blanket throughout the night.

He stumbled through the dark and landed in a heap on the bed, pulling the duvet all around him and laying on John’s pillow. It barely smelled like him anymore. Perhaps Alex had slept on it too much.

“Are you in bed?”

“Mhmm.”

“Alright-”

“Jack, can you sing to me, please?”

He heard a small, sad sigh from his phone but he kept his eyes shut tight, knowing if he looked at John he’d break down again.

“What do you want me to sing, baby girl?”

“I’ll Be Home For Christmas.” What a terrible idea, what was he thinking? That’s one of the saddest Christmas songs out there.

He supposed that their situation matched it best.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Please, John.

John muttered something unintelligible before clearing his throat.

”I’ll be home for Christmas. You can count on me.“

Alex held back the tears that pushed at his eyes and buried his face into his pillow.

”Please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree.“

Alexander had all of those things ready, waiting, waiting, waiting.

"Christmas Eve will find me where the love light gleams.” John’s voice hitched and Alexander could feel the moment his Laurens broke.

“I’ll be home for Christmas…” John let out a shaky breath and Alexander turned his head to the screen. It was too dark for John to see him and the tear tracks that stained his face.

“If only in my dreams.” Alexander finished for him, watching as John simultaneously yawned and sniffed and tried to hold back more tears. He didn’t succeed. Some escaped. Alexander wanted to kiss every teardrop, each wet eyelash, each dark freckle. He wanted to kiss John.

The red alarm clock beside the bed glared at him in block numbers, mocking and taunting him. 11:59.

“I love you, Jack.

12:00.

"Merry Christmas, baby girl. Get some sleep…I love you, too.”

~~~

The room was still dark when Alexander woke up, the curtains drawn and the sun deciding to come up later. The snow was falling harder than before.

Alexander looked at his clock. 4:04. What had woken him up? He shook his head and put his head back in his pillow, closing his eyes. Faster time goes, sooner he gets to see John.  
He fell back asleep, clutching his phone in his hand.

It isn’t much later when he’s woken by something tickling his nose. Something cold. He tries to swat it away but feels nothing. He turns over and feels a strange dip in the bed beside him.

“Hey, I’m home for Christmas. Won’t you wake up and see?”

He twitches his nose in annoyance. He must have left his radio on.

“There’s tons of snow and mistletoe and presents under our tree…”

Alexander attempted to force his eyes back open. That did not sound like the radio.

“Christmas Eve found me, in the wrong city.”

Alexander wrenched his eyelids open and pushed himself up on his arm, reaching back and turning on the lamp that sat on his bedside table. John sat in their bed, still in his winter coat, boots, and hat, grinning at Alexander with a cold red nose.

“Alex, I’m home for Christmas. And, no, this ain’t a dream.”

Alex flung himself at John, wrapping his arms around John’s neck and smashing their lips together. John laughed into the kiss, hugging Alexander tightly to his chest.

“How are you even here?” Alexander said, pulling away. “Don’t you have meetings for the next two days?”

“Well, a really bad case of the flu can really get you out of sticky situations. Especially if diarrhea is involved.” John gave a small (and very fake) cough and chuckled, pulling Alexander in for another kiss. “Besides, those corporates were idiots. They believed everything I said and were like, ‘hope ya get better, happy holidays!’ I left Lee to deal with them.”

Alexander burst into laughter, giddy and happy and overjoyed and-

There was no adjective that could best describe how he felt at that moment. No adjective could ever describe his Laurens.

Alexander rested his forehead against John’s, warming John’s face with his hands.

“You know, you’re going to get the bed soaking wet with your boots,” Alexander mumbled against John’s mouth, making John laugh.

“It was worth it to see your face when I woke you up.”

“Think you’re clever, huh?”

“Did you hear the lyrics? I changed them up just for you, baby.”

“I bet I could do better.”

“Oh, I seriously doubt it.”

John pushed Alexander off playfully and got off the bed, stripping out of his coat and boots. He was already wearing pajamas. “How about we settle this over a plate of frozen cookies and spiked eggnog?”

Alexander smiled and crawled out of bed after him, avoiding the large wet spot from John’s boots. He took John’s outstretched arm and let John lead him from the bedroom. As they passed the living room he noticed many new presents piled around the tree.

“Isn’t it a little early to drink?” Alexander asked and John shrugged.

“Christmas is free game, babe. It’s five o'clock all day.”

Alexander brought his lips to John’s cheek and leaned his head on John’s shoulder, a familiar warmth filling his gut.

“Merry Christmas, Jack.”

“Merry Christmas, baby girl.”

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up @ my tumblr if you liked! 
> 
> http://notfancyorfine.tumblr.com/


End file.
